Saturday, July 12, 2014

aspects of relationship

Aspects of Relationship

Every adult, at a deep biological level, wants both a connection to community and a primary partnership where we are seen, understood, loved and cared for, and where we can contribute to the welfare of others.

 An ideal adult Primary Relationship can be seen within the context of four basic intimate functions:  Partnership, Companionship, Friendship, and Lovers.

Partnership is the business of living a life together — house, kids, work, etc. (Good partners are dependable, honest, collaborative, hardworking.)  

Companionship is doing things together, hanging out, feeling at ease and open, touching and holding each other physically, sleeping together.  (Requires comfort with self and others, loyalty.)

Friendship refers to sharing experience with one another verbally.  Think of how you relate to a friend that you have not seen for awhile — sharing the details of you life while they listen interestedly.  (Ability to articulate experience and witness another.) 

Lovers demonstrate their physical appreciation of each other each other in practices of pleasuring one another, stimulating, kissing, touching areas of the body that are generally reserved for one other only such as breasts and genitals, and having sexual intercourse.  (This requires the ability to both give and receive pleasure.)

Of course these are not exclusive categories, they weave into one another.

Due to lack of knowledge and/or having incorporated dysfunctional survival strategies, couples are often good in some functional categories, or aspects of some categories, not in others.